Training Camps Opened Last Weekend - Are You All Ghey For The Football?

Deus:

Day 6 since correspondence has been attempted. I have received no reply and am beginning to fear the worst. In the time since my last attempt, crucial news has slipped out. Headlines include but are not limited to: Chad Pennington wins job as Jets starter, Seahawks sell out every game, and woman dies from home lipo - couple charged with illegally performing cosmetic surgery. I put my faith in so much that already lets me down (Bills, Sabres, Democracy). Do I really need to add Thaddeus to the list?

Bag:

Boo fuckin' hoo. Let me take up TOPIC: Seahawks sell out every game.

So I go out into the toolies last weekend, looking for a piece of dirt to hug (permanently, as in purchase), and get disappointed twice. The first place I looked at was a vertical stump farm and the second place could only be accessed by driving through a fabulous hillbilly shithole. To heap salt into the wound - no, let me rephrase - to let the Little Morton Salt Girl tromp through the gash in my soul, I get home, dial up Seahawks.com (brand-spankin' new Chase platinum card in hand), raging-full-on-ready to purchase ticket after ticket, only to be greeted by the headline 2006 SEASON COMPLETELY SOLD OUT! Thank you fans!

Fawk and double fawk. Double fawk with turds on top.

All was not lost, however. I went on Razorgator, and to make a long story short, am now thisclose to having tickets to all of the NFC West games at Qwest. (Season opener with the Cardinals still not @#$! confirmed.) Plus, I got tickets to the Christmas Eve edition of "Baby Jesus And The Seattle Seahawks Shock The Pants Off The San Diego Chargers".

You're a Hawks season ticket holder. At least you'll never be let down on the ticket front. Lucky bastage.