Admit It. You're Ghey For The Football. Starting...Now.

Deus:

A new American* Football season begins this week as teams open training camps around the globe. (Clarification provided for those of you still recovering from World Cup Fever, a sport which will henceforth be referred to as "the other football". -Ed.) Hence, we have much to discuss.

Lacking your eloquence with the written word, I've decided to compile a list / menu to choose from.

1. Seahawks - "the whole enchilada."
2. Bills - "Can I get a beer with that?"
3. T.O. - "uh ... There's a hair in this food."
4. Rothlisburger - "a fine chump of beef - ground to a fine puree"
5. Bengals Carpaccio - "commonly referred to as 'jail bait'"
6. Dalai Lama - "a selection of 4 noble truths"

Please feel free request a specialty topic if none noted are to your liking.

Ill start.

Topic: The Cincinnati Bengals and recent run-ins with the law. And I don't have much to say on this subject, other than that I am appalled by how much attention it grabs. I'll brief you in case youare unfamiliar. Suffice to say many members of the Cincinnati Football team have had legal difficulties as of late. Sports media around the country have been rolling in this story for weeks now and it is starting to get on everything. Why The Shock? Why the awe when sports figures indulge in criminal activities? After all, is not the greatest argument for after school sports that 'it keeps these kids off the streets and out of jail'? Surely they must realize that the NFL has an off-season and that during the duration these gladiators are left to their own devices. My point is that the NFL has failed miserably in grasping this problem by the chestnuts. Where are the off-season activities? No camps, No music lessons, No spring school, No boondoggle...not even a goddamn popsicle stick building workshop. All thats left for these poor multimillionaires is drugs and hootchies. Tempting lures indeed for the pond's biggest fish. Excuse me whilst I rant.

How bout them Hawks?

Bag:

TOPIC: Seahawks prepare enchiladas in the desert.

...and that's as far as I got before I had to work. You know - work? That thing that you do all day that's not either panhandling or bong practice? I'll get right back to you.